I was excited for the adventure, though, and my chemical sensitivity was getting a little better. I set out to buy myself some cute outfits for the big trip and managed to tolerate several stores over the course of a few days. Then, things took a turn for the worse.
My sweet husband decided he needed to dry clean all of his clothes for the trip so he could look his best. This is normal, right? Well, not at our house. Since developing multiple chemical sensitivity, we have had to clear out any and all sources of chemicals and strong smells from our home. (I know it seems kooky and extreme, but it's called "survival") So when the dry cleaning smells entered my little world, it was not pretty.
It started out with a headache, then progressed to "dizzy, twitchy, spinny, bizzaro" (as I like to call it). I became so sick and couldn't sleep at night. By the time the day arrived for us to get on that plane, I was so sleep deprived and sick, I didn't think it was smart for me to go.
My husband assured me that I could "rise above the symptoms" (a term we use a lot) and make it to Albuquerque for a great time together. The car arrived to take us to the airport and as soon as I sat down, I knew things were not going to get better. The beautiful leather seats had recently been treated with some strong chemical and my ability to rise above the symptoms became near impossible.
Our little Irish driver was so fun and talkative, but all his words were beginning to muffle together as my brain fog increased. My hands and legs started to go numb and by the time we arrived at the airport, I could barely walk. I held on to my husband as he continued to assure me that I could rise above the symptoms.
We made it through security and purchased some water before sitting down. As I began to drink the water, I realized something was wrong. A super strong chemical taste flushed down my body and hit my stomach like poison. I think the water was just flushing all those chemicals right down through my body. I began to sweat and shake and feel like I was going to vomit.
Still, my husband assured me that I would be able to rise above the symptoms. He helped me get on the plane and I sat down in total fear. Moments later, a lady sat down next to me with strong perfume. That was it. That was the last straw. The debilitating symptoms were just getting worse. The plane began to taxi and I just lost it. I quickly pushed the attendant button and sobbed as I told her that I had to get off the plane. My poor husband was just stunned and said that I just could not do that to 200 people. Nonetheless, the flight attendant could see that I was very ill so she told the pilot to take the plane back.
They put me on a wheelchair and rolled me out. There I sat, in the middle of O'Hare airport, sobbing, with hundreds of people walking by and watching. I kind of felt like an animal at the zoo.
My poor husband (I know I keep saying that, but I really did feel sorry for him) had to call his publisher to let him know that he missed the flight and would have to fly out the next day. (It turns out, he had to travel for 12 hours the next day and missed the presentation.) He then forked over $80 for a cigarette-smelling taxi ride home. I sobbed...he was silent. It was not a fun car ride.
As soon as I opened my front door, I really experienced what matters in life and that's the love of the people around us. My 11 and 14 year old sons let me literally cry on their shoulders. It was a connection I will never forget.
